The Hague NL: Hollanders Speak Dutch in The Netherlands Despite Everything

The Netherlands squeezes 16,000,000 people into 16,000 square miles, yet they retain their old-school language, speaking it to each other, printing newspapers in Dutch, and making it one of five mandatory languages taught to schoolchildren. Not certain if calling us Groot Scherm is part of the curriculum or the pesky PVV influence.

Coffeehuis is a place to get coffee. Coffeeshop is a coffeehuis plus cannabis. Blowcafe is neither sex nor drugs, but a tobacco-smoking facility -- in your own tobacco-smoking isolation contraption (like at the hairdresser, or in Sleeper) to comply with the no-smoking rules that converted the Bruncafes from tobacco and political discussions to politics only. These beehive rules do not apply to coffeshops.

The Hollanders have fastidious habits (beyond the Dutch speaking), like grinding and mixing and rolling and licking and other odd moves. (No more seemingly odd than the Uruguayan mate gourd/thermos/straw rituals -- “All I need...”) Here is where The Hague coffeeshop cannabis is prepared by the be-stemming verkers:

Here is the final product delivered to the coffeeshops:

Sometimes you know right away that the English translation is the opposite of the Dutch, like smartshop.

This is a discoeedisco where the talented Vermont jazz-rock group Phish is subliminally played under the thumpathump.

Regulated prostitution is also legal and presumed normal which is one of those euronotions supposed to make all workers happier, like these girls from Super Lekker. Presumably, 67 needs no translation.

This is apparently some religious sex thing. I didn’t know they had four ports -- no wonder people are jealous.

This is apparently some distateful post sexual experience.

This place is discriminating against someone.

This is a classy sex place where a couple can hire a partner certified-free of vriendenprijs.

Saw this The Hague-on-a-Sunday-walk eurocouple enter - which way do you think they went?